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Teenagers and Anxiety

Considerable concern has been expressed of late about an apparent rise in teenage anxiety. The number of teenagers receiving medical treatment for severe anxiety is on the rise and a variety of theories are being advanced as to why this might be the case.

It should be clear from the outset that a certain level of anxiety (for example: when faced with new challenges) is both a natural response of the human body and a good thing. Anxiety in the face of changed circumstances or new experiences is part of the body’s “fight or flight“ response. It sharpens our focus, heightens our concentration, provides a surge of energy to face and deal with whatever challenge has come our way – an invaluable asset for exams, public performances, college and job interviews, and the like. It is also useful for prompting teenagers to reflect on unsafe situations in which they might find themselves. Given the amount of change that occurs during the teenage years, it should come as no surprise that teenagers experience varying levels of anxiety. Indeed, learning how to control and use anxiety could be seen as one of the many tasks of the teenage years.

Most of the time, and for most teenagers, anxiety is a temporary phenomenon that resolves itself as the situation that prompted its arrival is faced and resolved. There are times, however, when anxiety can become a problem, times when

  • feelings of anxiety become very intense so that they begin to envelop more and more of the teenager’s life, or
  • their anxious state does not recede but persists over weeks or months, or
  • anxiety begins to eat away at the teenager’s ability to manage and enjoy daily life.

In circumstances such as these, anxiety loses its usefulness as a tool to help manage and enhance life and may develop into an anxiety disorder for which medical or psychological support may be necessary.

The causes of such a change in the nature of anxiety from a life-enhancing tool to a potentially destructive force are varied. Genetic, personality, environmental and physical factors have all been suggested among the list of possible causes, and for many it seems likely to be a combination of a variety of factors. Whilst identifying the causes can help those managing treatment and care to find an appropriate path towards a solution, many of the causal factors cannot be eliminated or avoided. We shall therefore concentrate below on steps that parents and teachers can take to help teenagers learn to manage “normal” anxiety in such a way that it retains its power as a tool to help them shape life positively.

Advice for parents

Be well informed. As with so many areas of raising teenagers, parents are required to walk something of a tightrope. On the one hand, seeking to shield teenagers from all situations that might provoke anxiety will leave them ill-equipped to face the stresses of the adult world. On the other, seeking to over-expose them to anxiety-producing situations as a form of “innoculation” against future anxiety may well undermine their confidence and leave them more prone to anxiety than they might otherwise have been. Rather, careful observation of how your teenager handles stress, knowing the classic signs of “anxiety”, recognizing the signs your teenager gives out when they are becoming over-anxious about a situation, learning when to encourage them to face their fears and when to avoid situations are all aspects of becoming a well-informed parent on this particular subject.

Maintain a healthy relationship with open channels of communication. Certainly, there will be times when teenagers reject the advice and guidance of their parents, but maintaining a relationship within which teenagers know they can share their concerns when they feel the need to do so, is an invaluable means of support that can give teenagers confidence through the years of adolescence. If parents are able, when appropriate, to talk about their own experiences of managing anxiety, including times they may have struggled with it, this can help teenagers see that it is not a subject and experience to be avoided at all costs and may well dispose them to be more open about their own experiences.

Watch out for the warning signs and don’t be afraid to act if necessary. Becoming aware of the classic signs both of anxiety and of over-anxiety is something of an academic exercise, but knowing how to act on those signs in the best interests of your teenager is highly personal. It requires the kind of detailed knowledge of your teenager that only parents, and perhaps a few others, can acquire. Of course, parents should avoid any inclination to jump in and take over their teenagers’ lives, but when the danger signs are there, parents should not be afraid to act. If anxiety gets out of control, a teenager’s longer term mental health could be affected so early intervention in terms of seeking professional support is strongly advised. School counsellors, therapists, family doctors are all possible starting points for finding professional help for those who need it.

Advice for Teachers and Schools

Inform students about anxiety, its symptoms and how to find help. The ready availability in schools of age-appropriate resources is as important in equipping teenagers to manage anxiety as in many other areas. Funding the provision of resources covering a wide range of mental health and social issues might be beyond the budgetary capabilities of many schools. However, if it were possible, it could be developed into a major contribution to student health and well-being. Schools are starting to include more aspects of well-being within their social and health education curricula, which is to be encouraged, and certainly the management of anxiety should find a place within such schemes. Anxiety carries something of a stigma of fragility and an inability to cope with life. Handled wisely, this need not be the outcome for anxious students, although it represents a danger for those whose anxiety spirals out of control. Such stigma is often best addressed by openly addressing the subject, whether it be in a classroom setting or in private conversation.

Communicate concerns. Teachers will expect to see a certain level of anxiety amongst their students from time to time, especially during the exam season, for example. However, teachers will often be the first to notice when individual students begin to show signs of becoming overly anxious. When teachers are concerned about individuals in this respect, it is important that they communicate their concerns promptly. Whether that communication happens with the student or their parent, or with someone who has pastoral responsibility in school will depend on a whole host of factors, including the age and personality of the student, the procedures in place within the school, the relationship that the teacher has with the particular student, and so on. Whatever its most appropriate form, the important thing is that the communication happens and that difficulties are not allowed to push that communication aside.

Don’t underestimate the value of encouragement. We all need encouragement from time to time, and encouragement can be a particularly effective means of support for those who are anxious. In some cases it may take the form of encouragement to face a challenge head-on despite the anxiety, but in others it will be about helping a student to find another way of achieving a goal. The approach will vary according to the individuals and circumstances involved. However, the value of the encouragement offered by a concerned teacher should never be under-estimated when offered in the context of student anxiety.

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Promoting Resilience in Teenagers

Have you ever wondered how it can be possible for two people of the same age to face vey similar challenging circumstances, and for one to crumble whilst the other rises to the challenge and emerges from it strengthened for the future? The factor that makes the difference is what we call resilience. Resilience is variously defined, but it boils down to the ability to cope well both during and following challenging circumstances, to adapt in the face of difficulty and to bounce back following setbacks.

An article in the New York Times Magazine in October last year focused on the frightening increase of severe anxiety amongst teenagers in the United States. The article indicates that growing numbers of students lack the resilience to “problem-solve or advocate for themselves effectively”, leading more of them eventually to stop attending school altogether as anxiety overwhelms them. It is not clear whether the major contributor to the increase in anxiety is a decrease in the number of teenagers who are equipped with the resilience to face today’s turbulent world, or whether it is the result of the increased pressures and stress heaped on teenagers by our technologically advanced world. In all likelihood, it is a combination of the two. However, whether it is for confronting everyday difficulties, or facing one of life’s more difficult challenges, like losing a family member, commentators agree that today’s teenagers need to become more resilient.

Commentators also agree that, whilst a variety of personal characteristics may impact resilience, it is not in itself genetic; but is rather a skill that can be learned and built. Lists of what might be considered the building blocks of resilience vary, but most would include: a sense of belonging; self-respect and empathy; social skills; a positive outlook; and the availability and accessibility of supportive adults.

A sense of belonging can be gained from a variety of sources: family, school, peers and the wider community. We all need to know there are people who care about us and to whom we matter, people who will offer encouragement and support when we experience difficulty, and structures to which we can contribute in appropriate ways. Whilst a sense of belonging might be thought of as providing a cocoon within which the individual teenager exists, there needs also to be a sense of self-respect, which enables the teenager to know their own value as a person and have a realistic view of their own capabilities and strengths. Empathy, which allows respect for others and their feelings to develop, helps the teenager look beyond themselves. When this extends to supporting and helping others, there is a positive feedback that strengthens further the teenager’s sense of self-respect.

A teenager’s social skills enable them to make friends, resolve conflicts, maintain healthy relationships and cooperate with others. The ability to keep a positive outlook on life, even in the midst of difficulty, contributes to the ability to regard challenges as opportunities for growth rather than reasons to give up, and also feeds the ability to maintain hope. The availability of supportive adults provides an added level of reassurance that there are those to whom the teenager can turn to ask for help when they feel the need for the additional support of an experienced and trusted adult, who may be a family member, teacher, peer or professional supporter. These basic building blocks, in different combinations for different people, are required to help the teenager build resilience, to the nurturing of which we now turn.

Advice for Parents

Be models of resilience. It is not possible to nag teenagers into becoming resilient, but whatever parents say on the subject is likely to be less effective than the resilience they demonstrate. Teenagers observe how their parents handle life and its problems, and what they see can be a key factor in helping the teenagers develop their own approach. This applies as much to resilience as to any other aspect of life, and it requires parents to look at their own levels of resilience and to seek to address any deficiencies they find. Parents who lack resilience can communicate the message to their children that life’s difficulties are best avoided or given into; whereas parents who have developed their own resilience give the message that life’s challenges are for facing as opportunities for learning, growth and development.

Allow teenagers to face their own challenges. Since resilience is primarily to do with facing difficulties, it is important that parents resist the urge to shield their teenagers from all difficult circumstances. Resilience grows through practice, and children and teenagers need to develop their coping skills and strategies through putting them to use. Teenagers are helped when parents talk through approaches to difficulties, support and encourage them as they face difficulties, help them to keep their difficulties in a proper perspective, compliment them when they win through, and help them to reflect and learn from their experiences subsequently.

Observe how your teenager functions and help them address their weaknesses. Parents need to keep in mind the building blocks outlined earlier and encourage their children and teenagers to develop in areas where they are weaker. This can start before the child becomes a teenager. If, for example, the parent observes a reluctance to become involved with others, or hears from the class teacher that the child seems to be a loner, or sees that their teenager seems unable to maintain friendships beyond a couple of weeks, then a helpful avenue to explore could be that of helping them find ways to strengthen their social skills. When genuine difficulties arise during the teenager years, a supportive network of peers can be a valuable contributing factor to resilience, but such friendship networks need to be built before the crises hit.

Help your teenager develop a positive and realistic outlook on life. A vital element of resilience is the ability to maintain a perspective on life that gives a realistic view of difficulties when they arise. Not all difficulties need to affect the whole of a person’s life. A poor test result, for example, may prompt reflection on how the teenager studied and whether changes might be made to their study routines for the future, but there is no immediate reason for it to impact family holiday plans, sports team participation or a complete revision of one’s university applications. Especially if your teenager is prone to panic in response to a setback, a level-headed parent can be a valuable aid to keeping things in a proper perspective.

Advice for Teachers and Schools

 Observe and encourage. Teachers are in a great position to be able to observe how students cope with difficulty and to offer some encouragement at an appropriate moment. Two categories of student come immediately to mind as those who might benefit from the support of an observant teacher: those who generally seem to lack resilience, and those who ordinarily seem able to manage setbacks but who show an unexplained change in behaviour. For those students in the former category, regular reassuring comments about their ability to cope allied with complimentary remarks of encouragement when they succeed are a great combination. Such comments need not take a great amount of time, but they send the message that someone is interested in them and in their progress. Such comments can have a great impact on a student whose resilience is low. For those in the latter category, a gentle enquiry if everything is okay opens a door for a student to ask for help if they find themselves unexpectedly in a situation where they need it.

Incorporate a resilience programme into the curriculum. An age-appropriate resilience programme embedded in the curriculum not only makes students aware of the importance of resilience and how it can be built, but it also creates natural opportunities for those struggling with their resilience to identify their needs and to ask for help. Such a programme should aim to make students aware of the building blocks for resilience, give practical opportunities for students to try out strategies for strengthening resilience, and give clear information about the kinds of help that might be available and where. Resilience is an important protection and tool for students in today’s world, and a programme focused on its development could be an important contribution to students’ well-being and ability to succeed.

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Supporting Teenagers through the Exam Season

At this time of year in the northern hemisphere, many teenagers are becoming aware that the exam season is moving inexorably closer. For some this will mean an assessment of progress made during the current school year; for others it will mean a series of exams that could play a large role in determining their future: which university they will be able to attend, if any, and ultimately the career upon which they might embark.

The exam system has its detractors, who argue that it is possible to learn how to be good at exams, without necessarily being good at anything else; or who see exams as a poor basis for taking decisions that may have such a long-term effect on a person’s future. However, universities and employers seem generally to be agreed that, whilst the exam system may not be perfect, it remains the best tool we currently have as a means of assessing academic potential. Many use other additional factors or measures alongside exam performance, but even so, exam results still carry enormous weight.

Of course, there are some students who look forward to exams, knowing they are likely to perform better than they do ordinarily. For others, however, exams begin to loom on the horizon like some kind of mythical beast that needs to be fought and conquered. It is not just the importance of the outcome that contributes to the stress surrounding the exam period. Fear of failure, exaggerated parental expectations, realization that time during a course of study has not been used wisely, knowing that their hopes for the future might be dashed by the outcome – all these factors, and more, can combine to make the exam season a time of extraordinary stress and anxiety. So what can we do, as parents and teachers, to support teenagers through this stressful time of year?

Advice for parents

Practical help. I have lost count of the number of parents who have said to me over the years something along the lines of, “I decided the most valuable thing I could do was feed them!” Practical measures that enable the student to focus on revision and preparation for exams represent one way that parents can show support. The nature of the support will depend on the teenager and the family. Other approaches I have encountered include: suspending certain household chores until the exams are over, funding one night out a week during the exam season to ensure the student takes some time off from revision, and making adjustments to the pattern of life in the household to try to minimize disruption for the student.

Encouragement. Parents will want to encourage their teenagers to keep going in the face of pressure and when they feel like giving up. But there are other forms of encouragement that may be required too. Students work best when their revision programme is balanced. Encourage your teenager to draft a revision plan. It does not need to account for every minute over a three-month period, but it does need to include all the subjects! Also, encourage them to include time off, exercise and sleep so that their overall approach is balanced, as that will enable them to work much more effectively. Ultimately, encourage them to accept that your love for them is not determined by the level of their exam achievements, and if the results turn out to be disappointing, reinforce that message when they find out. In the meantime, encourage them to work hard through the time that remains to them before the exams and to do their best.

Place responsibility with the student. Ultimate responsibility for your teenager’s exam results rests with them. Teachers, tutors, peers and parents can all offer support, expertise and help as appropriate, but that will achieve little if the student does not put in the work. None of the above, nor exam boards, are there to act as scapegoats if the results do not turn out to your teenager’s liking. It is important that your teenager understands that this is what reality looks like when it comes to exams.

If your teenager is among the small minority of students who, despite being made aware of their responsibility, persist in doing next to no work, there is little a parent can do other than reinforce the message about responsibility. Difficult though it may be for parents to watch, some teenagers will only learn the hard way. If the worst happens and the results are disappointing, I can only say that I have worked with a number of parents over the years whose teenagers have not been admitted into their chosen university at the first attempt, or who have needed to take a year out and re-sit a number of exams. Often the teenager has succeeded the second time around, or they have decided on a different direction for their future, and both the teenager and the parents have found eventually that the initial poor results were not the end of the world, even if it felt like it at the time. For a significant proportion of those who found themselves in that position, the experience turned out eventually to be a valuable learning experience.

Advice for Teachers and Schools

Advice about revision. I would encourage schools to offer some form of programme to help prepare students for revision and exams. Such a programme should explore a variety of approaches to revision that will appeal to a range of learning styles. Also, they should help students develop the skills they need to make revision plans and to know how to use those plans helpfully. It is also helpful for teenagers to understand the value of sleep, of a healthy work-life balance, and of good examination technique, so all these might helpfully be included in a programme of preparation.

Active revision. Over the years I have had numerous conversations with teenagers about their preparation for exams. Many of them have told me that their teachers have stressed the need for active revision, but when I have followed up with a question about what that means, a surprisingly large proportion of them seemed not to know. Good advice is soon wasted if it contains educational jargon that the students do not understand! The term active revision is trying to get the message across that there is far more to a good revision programme than the student just reading through their notes, which a surprisingly large number seem to think is sufficient. That may be part of it, but there should also be working through examples from scratch, checking notes against textbooks, asking teachers or peers for clarification where needed, trying out past exam questions. I have seen a number of instances where students have formed their own revision groups for certain subjects, where they teach, help and support each other through the exam season.

Encouragement. There may have been times throughout a course of study when a teacher felt the need, either with groups of students or individuals, to highlight their misuse of time and bemoan lost learning opportunities. However, as the exam period moves closer, such an approach can have a marked negative effect and might even lead some students to feel that there is no point even trying to prepare as it is already too late. In the exam season, encouragement needs to be the order of the day, and I have seen a number of instances over the years where students have achieved beyond all expectation due to the optimistic encouragement of their teachers.

Consider gender differences. It is generally accepted that girls mature earlier than boys, which can give them an edge in exam situations where students sitting an examination are pretty much the same age. Self-doubt can affect many teenagers, often girls especially; whereas lack of organization can be an affliction that is more common in boys due to their comparative immaturity. Whilst students do not always follow their gender stereotypes, there is nevertheless sufficient truth within a stereotype to give teachers an understanding of things for which they need to be looking. Whatever the cause, such characteristics can be a disadvantage during the pressured exam season, but they are also issues that can be addressed and managed with help.

Place responsibility with the student. Teachers, as well as parents, need to remember that ultimately students are responsible for their own exam results. Teachers offer instruction, insight, clarification, additional help and encouragement, but students are responsible for their own performance. In very unusual circumstances, such as teaching the wrong syllabus, teachers and schools might be held responsible for the outcome, but such situations are very unusual. Generally, the majority of students will perform in line with teacher expectations, whilst a few will over- or under-perform. That is the nature of the exam system and within that system students carry responsibility for their level of performance.

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